Ryuuji (dice_addict) wrote in dice_addiction,

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OOC: The VERY Sekrit Diaries of Ryuuji Otogi!

Alucard-mun's comment here inspired the following spin-off of Cassie Claire's Very Secret Diairies. XD Co-written by me and Stephen-mun! Stephen-mun did 1, 3, 7, 8, 13, 18, 20 and I wrote al the rest. Not meant to be a reflection on actual events at Hogwarts, just for fun. ♥

Very Secret Diary of Ryuuji Otogi:

Day 1. Still the prettiest.

Day 2. Swarmed by fangirls. Lost all my clothing. Was too blinded by photographers to watch where I was going and accidentally groped an old lady under the impression she was a hot young male. Was hit over the head with her shopping bag when I attempted to explain. Ow.

Day 3. Montaro applied to Hogwarts! someone save me! Am hiring Teatime as bodyguard.

Day 4. Have found Montaro lurking in my shoe. Ew. Need disinfectants.

Day 5. Mai took me shoe-shopping. Now have red Jimmy-Choo fuck-me boots. Attempted to explain that I prefer giving than receiving. Ended up buying out a store. Think Mai doesn't understand euphemisms.

Day 6. Saw Alucard. Borrowed lipliner from Mai and drew a little X on my neck. Sick of subtlety.

Day 7. Gave every Slytherin a makeover in the common room. Must beat Hufflepuff for title of Hottest House.

Day 8. Potions emergency. Why are there people laying odds on my hooking up with a middle-aged man who wears cow pajamas?!

Day 8. Fed Stephen a de-aging potion to see if that would be an improvement. It WAS.

Day 9. Fashion taste or lack thereof is not affected by deaging. Boo.

Day 10. Took a deaging potion and ran around pretending to be Mokuba. Nearly got kissed by his girlfriend. Ew. Cooties.

Day 11. Seto treats me much better when I'm little. Never growing up.

Day 12. Got accused of turning people into pedophiles. Back to normal once more.

Day 13. Today everyone in the school switched genders. Didn't make any difference. I was still the prettiest.

Day 14. Questioning my gender sexuality.

Day 15. Clearly, most superior being in the universe. Need not be limited by labels. Have decided to wear makeup, earrings and high heels as sign of my new self-confidence.

Day 16. Realized that I already do. Boo.

Day 17. Pierced leaves of geranium plant. Shall transplant it to a high heeled shoe for a pot. Have duty to share my beauty even with plantlife.

Day 18. Took Wolfram to a fashion show. Was mobbed by even more fangirls. Tabloids reporting I now have a "demon boytoy."

Day 18. Took Crowley to a fashion show. Had fangirls keep an intimidated distance and admire from afar. Suggested that he replace Teatime as my bodyguard. Did not receive answer in the affirmative. Boo.

Day 19. Being stalked. Er. Being stalked by someone other than usual stalkers. Tried to find out who is new stalker, got distracted by shinies.

Day 20. Have lots of new shinies! Put shinies all over Terry. Terry collapsed under weight of them. Need to get Terry lighter shinies.

Day 21: Bought exoskeleton for Terry to support weight of shinies.

Day 22. Realized all light reflects off Terry to make him all shiny too. Yummy.

Day 23. Nightwing poured black oil over Terry. Terry no longer shiny. Greasy to lick too. Need to scour tongue with Brillo pad.

Day 24: Accidentally swallowed Brillopad. Shall have shiny clean insides.

Day 25. Have been asked lots of questions from Stephen about current medical health. Also stripped and laid down on metal bed and had him poke my stomach to find Brillopad's location in the name of science. Think Stephen needs a girlfriend that's better at keeping his attention than teenage girls are.

Day 26. Told Stephen that. Had it misinterpreted as a come-on. Need to word self more carefully, or stay quiet and look alluring. Will study sign language.

Day 27. Have had sign language misinterpreted. Need more people to learn it so I can communicate with them. Now need to get rid of all the bananas I was given.

Day 28. Have been keeping diary for a whole month!

Day 29. Found out it's June, not February.

Day 30: NOW have been keeping diary for a month. Shall quit. Typing very hard on fingernails
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